Home Again

The kids & I got back late Thursday night. The drive was OK until we hit about 75 miles outside of our home. It started raining and hailing super hard. I was so surprised with the hailing. I've never been in a hail storm. But it was only like that for about 5 minutes. I thought the people who were pulling over to sit out the hail were cRaZy! I wouldn't want to sit there on the side of the road and let my car get pummeled with hail! Matt left Saturday for some training, so our time was short, but sweet.

We've been dealing with some stuff lately, and we are finally at a place where we are working through and growing stronger. From what I've read, what we are going through is not uncommon. Just usual marriage & parenting woes. At times it felt overwhelming and like we were not going to get through. Like we didn't even want to get through. But we do. We love each other and our children and honestly, it's not like we were/are facing serious problems like adultery, addictions, etc. That being said, sometiems it does feel like what we are dealing with is the end. I'm glad for the time we spent apart while I was out of town. It gave each of us time to reflect and think about where we want this thing called marriage to go. I even think that the next few weeks that we'll spend apart will stregnthen us and our desire to make it work.

Of course, I have also been praying for strength and guidance. I've also been praying for Matt. I finally saw my prayers working when he texted me last night after landing saying he is not going to fight with me anymore. At times, I felt like all he wanted to do was fight and actually talk about it and resolve. I no longer feel that pain, and yes it hurt. Is everything perfect and resolved? No, of course not. Is it ever?! Marriage, ours included, is an ongoing process. It is a commitment to learn and grow with each other. Marriage is getting through those difficult times and knowing that hard times will return. I'm happy that we are on the mend, that we are willing to work for our love and know that no, it does not always come easy. I have no doubt that we will face some more fights, espeically in the months leading up to his trip. But knowing this will prepare me to handle them a little more gracefully (I pray).

^4"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails." 1Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

He led me to a place of safety

I really promise that today/tonight I will post an update!  Lol!  But for now I want to post this Psalm.  Two days ago as I was feeling overwhelmed, tired and a little sick I asked the Lord to direct me to something to help me out.  I opened my One Year Bible on 

Psalm 18:16-36:

 ¹⁶ He reached down from heaven and rescued me;

      he drew me out of deep waters.

 ¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemies,

      from those who hated me and were too strong for me.

 ¹⁸ They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress,

      but the Lord supported me.

 ¹⁹ He led me to a place of safety;

      he rescued me because he delights in me.

 ²⁰ The Lord rewarded me for doing right;

      he restored me because of my innocence.

 ²¹ For I have kept the ways of the Lord;

      I have not turned from my God to follow evil.

 ²² I have followed all his regulations;

      I have never abandoned his decrees.

 ²³ I am blameless before God;

      I have kept myself from sin.

 ²⁴ The Lord rewarded me for doing right.

      He has seen my innocence.

 ²⁵ To the faithful you show yourself faithful;

      to those with integrity you show integrity.

 ²⁶ To the pure you show yourself pure,

      but to the wicked you show yourself hostile.

 ²⁷ You rescue the humble,

      but you humiliate the proud.

 ²⁸ You light a lamp for me.

      The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.

 ²⁹ In your strength I can crush an army;

      with my God I can scale any wall.

 ³⁰ God’s way is perfect.

      All the Lord’s promises prove true.

      He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

 ³¹ For who is God except the Lord?

      Who but our God is a solid rock?

 ³² God arms me with strength,

      and he makes my way perfect.

 ³³ He makes me as surefooted as a deer,

      enabling me to stand on mountain heights.

 ³⁴ He trains my hands for battle;

      he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.

 ³⁵ You have given me your shield of victory.

      Your right hand supports me;

      your help has made me great.

 ³⁶ You have made a wide path for my feet

      to keep them from slipping.

(NLT)

It really helped.  Now back to homework while A is napping and my mom is entertaining K.

The Good Book

Matt & I have begun reading the Bible together. It is a big step for him (I think) since he's not really into organized religion. He has his own beliefs. This has not become a problem for us. Part of the reason, I believe, is that I am so new into Christianity and learning about it. I have my beliefs and they lie within Christian beliefs. I am constantly struggling to learn and delve into my faith. I'm not going to say this is a new faith for me, I've always believed and had the urge to know more and be more involved. I am just now getting to that point.

I was not raised in a religious house at all. It was never in any way discouraged, it just was not at the top of the list. Not sure why. My mom was a single mother for a while, and so maybe there just wasn't enough time, I don't know. It doesn't really matter to me either. What matters to me is that I now know how I want to live my life. What matters is that I am taking the steps to live my life in a more Christian like way. I'm still working on it, but aren't we all. My work in learning about and loving Christ will never be complete.

For now, I'm starting to read the Bible and other books that I feel can minister to me and help me get it.

I'm very happy that Matt is, enthusiastically I might add, reading along with me. I really think it will help him live a better life (not that he's a bad guy, you know what I mean) and us have a better marriage.

We each picked up a Ranger Bible from the marriage retreat a few weekends back. It's a small, camo colored Bible, and I think that partly lead to Matt picking it up! Whatever works, right!? A few days ago I also went and bought The One Year Bible, thinking it would be easier for us to read it. Matt is planning on sticking to reading his RGR Bible, and hopefully finishing it while on some buisiness trips throughout the year. I'm still deciding wheter to start my One Year Bible at today's date or at January 1st. I'm leaning more towards today's date for the simple fact that I'll be able to remember where I'm at. I can always go back and read more if I'm confused.

So I'm excited. I have no idea what it will do for us as a couple or for us individually, but I'm hopeful for good things! Reading God's word can only be good for us!